Recap
It has been months now since I've returned from Asia and I'm just now getting to update this blog for the last time. Three months and 21 days was all it took to fit it in. :)
What have I learned from this experience?
My life is fantastic and a blessing. Through this trip I started to journal about every li'l step of the way in addition to posting my entries here. I have read it through twice now and I'm amazing myself at the level of introspection and attention to every minute detail. I spent so much time anguishing over what to do next, having the next *thing*, and mounting pressure on myself to perfect everything. You know what? I was italicizing all the wrong things and breezing over the right ones.
We have so very much... all of us, myself more than many. I have a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for all the ways in which my life is truly rich. The Cambodian people are so very poor, they can't drink their own water, and things like healthcare are nonexistent to the vast majority of the citizens. You know what? They are happy! They smile all the time! They have their families and a sense of laughter that is sometimes too easy to lose in day-to-day monotony.
Hot showers are still one of the most fantastic things ever... hands down. I think I will always have a sense of relish associated with them from now on.
Even before I left, friends and family were projecting ideas on me. First it was about whether they thought I should go (which totally wasn't up for discussion). Then, it morphed into ideas about how I should or shouldn't be preparing to go (ie. selling things and housecleaning for extra bucks). When I returned, many of those who love me pushed and harped on me about the next step... getting "sensible"... worrying that I wouldn't find a new job or have a sofa to sit on. I have found that somewhere along the way I've developed a quiet assurance inside of me that life is as it should be... and will continue to be so. I have a sense of self that I was only able to find by relying completely on me in a crazy, totally foreign situation. My life will be and is as I have created it to be.
Charity. We all have something to give of ourselves and whether or not it's big to us, it's big to someone. I remind myself of how lucky I am. I'm so lucky it hurts sometimes.
Through my travels I've been reconnected with how much I love to read and learn. I need to make time to enrich my life like that.
I adore photography and I've let myself get pulled away from this also. My once high school pasttime has taken on new importance and I just bought a new camera to cherish.
Things aren't as important to me any more. Sure, wine glasses and matching living room furniture are nice, but I also know I don't miss them at all. I'm making room for other things to come into my life by letting go the ones that aren't really important to me. I think it's kind of like the idea of cleaning out our basement, only applied to your life. Once it's emptier there's room for more fabulous. :)
I guess that's my wrap up. In my head it felt more powerful or profound and once in writing it seems less poignant. Thanks for reading along and sharing with me.
One last thing - everyone has been asking me about the best part of my trip... so I'm going to tell you all here, too. I loved Cambodia - everything about it changed from a dismal place of sadness to a joyous and wonderful journey of discovery. It wasn't the splendor of the Temples of Angkor or The Royal Palace... it was the orphanage... the orphanage that will always be unnamed in my memory. I just wish I had words and intellect that could measure with the feeling of that day. I would give anything for the words.
Check out pictures at: www.flickr.com/photos/jcarte/
They should all be up in a couple days.
Ciao -
Janice :)
What have I learned from this experience?
My life is fantastic and a blessing. Through this trip I started to journal about every li'l step of the way in addition to posting my entries here. I have read it through twice now and I'm amazing myself at the level of introspection and attention to every minute detail. I spent so much time anguishing over what to do next, having the next *thing*, and mounting pressure on myself to perfect everything. You know what? I was italicizing all the wrong things and breezing over the right ones.
We have so very much... all of us, myself more than many. I have a deeper sense of gratitude and appreciation for all the ways in which my life is truly rich. The Cambodian people are so very poor, they can't drink their own water, and things like healthcare are nonexistent to the vast majority of the citizens. You know what? They are happy! They smile all the time! They have their families and a sense of laughter that is sometimes too easy to lose in day-to-day monotony.
Hot showers are still one of the most fantastic things ever... hands down. I think I will always have a sense of relish associated with them from now on.
Even before I left, friends and family were projecting ideas on me. First it was about whether they thought I should go (which totally wasn't up for discussion). Then, it morphed into ideas about how I should or shouldn't be preparing to go (ie. selling things and housecleaning for extra bucks). When I returned, many of those who love me pushed and harped on me about the next step... getting "sensible"... worrying that I wouldn't find a new job or have a sofa to sit on. I have found that somewhere along the way I've developed a quiet assurance inside of me that life is as it should be... and will continue to be so. I have a sense of self that I was only able to find by relying completely on me in a crazy, totally foreign situation. My life will be and is as I have created it to be.
Charity. We all have something to give of ourselves and whether or not it's big to us, it's big to someone. I remind myself of how lucky I am. I'm so lucky it hurts sometimes.
Through my travels I've been reconnected with how much I love to read and learn. I need to make time to enrich my life like that.
I adore photography and I've let myself get pulled away from this also. My once high school pasttime has taken on new importance and I just bought a new camera to cherish.
Things aren't as important to me any more. Sure, wine glasses and matching living room furniture are nice, but I also know I don't miss them at all. I'm making room for other things to come into my life by letting go the ones that aren't really important to me. I think it's kind of like the idea of cleaning out our basement, only applied to your life. Once it's emptier there's room for more fabulous. :)
I guess that's my wrap up. In my head it felt more powerful or profound and once in writing it seems less poignant. Thanks for reading along and sharing with me.
One last thing - everyone has been asking me about the best part of my trip... so I'm going to tell you all here, too. I loved Cambodia - everything about it changed from a dismal place of sadness to a joyous and wonderful journey of discovery. It wasn't the splendor of the Temples of Angkor or The Royal Palace... it was the orphanage... the orphanage that will always be unnamed in my memory. I just wish I had words and intellect that could measure with the feeling of that day. I would give anything for the words.
Check out pictures at: www.flickr.com/photos/jcarte/
They should all be up in a couple days.
Ciao -
Janice :)
posted by Janice at 7:47 PM
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