Pick Me Up
I don't think I really conveyed yesterday how much of a down day it was. I went to bed with a million thoughts swimming around my head and the only way I could drown out the day's sorrow was to put on my ipod and *music* myself to sleep. I was ready to hop the next plane home.
The poverty here is really devastating and there are children everywhere wanting to sell you something or begging for food. It's hard because we have so much and they see us coming here with dollars in our pockets - and they are pushed into attempting to hawk things on the street. They sell everything from postcards and books to flowers and jewelry. When I was at the killing fields yesterday a group of children were playing there... playing on this ground where you can walk over pieces of human bone and see teeth peeking up through the soil. The came over, spoke perfect English, charmed me with stories and wanted me to take their picture. As soon as we crossed around the bend they started begging for money, telling me they were so hungry, that they were trying to pay for English lessons, that their parents were very poor, too. I resisted and resisted - it was so very hard to say no. In the end I gave four boys a dollar to share (given to the eldest one) and then they turned angry that I had not given them more. Before I knew it, I was surrounded with children that came out of nowhere all saying that they knew I had money - that they saw it. Why didn't I like them? Why didn't I give them some money, too?
I was heartbroken... you see kids all dirty, with little or no clothing running up and down the street. The conditions are horrible for people who live here in a way we can't relate to.
Today I needed some life affirmation and I got a lead over breakfast. I met an Australian girl and her English boyfriend and they said they had seen a sign for an orphanage that you could go visit. I went and saw the posting and decided to stumble my way back to the Central Market (which I, suprisingly, easily found). I had such fun buying things for the children... I bought: 6lbs. of bananas, 5 new towels, 5 toothbrushes, a six-pack of bar soap, 5 packs of crayons, peanuts, and some sweets. (This was the best $15 I've spent - ever. Period.) I can't tell you how overwhelmed I was when I walked into the orphanage. Wait, let me start earlier -
The road to the orphanage was truly terrible... churned up with rocks and trash everywhere. I'm talking HEAPS of litter mixed in with the broken pavement and dirt. There were dogs eating through the dirty puddles of spoiled food, baskets of meat that were mostly indistinguishable (because they were completely covered with flies), and people washing their babies in dirty buckets of water off the side of the street.
The building was falling apart, but full of joy. I could hear the children singing from down the street and when I peered in I saw them all with their handmade instruments putting on a song and dance for two other foreigners who were there. They run to you, throw their skinny little arms around you, say "hello hello hello", and smile so that it melts your heart. Most of them had really dirty clothes on and their teeth were blackened in places... their hair stringy and their feet covered in dirt. It was a beautiful sight.
The woman who runs the orphanage doesn't speak english, but had a translator there to help. These children were given up either by parents who were sick or infected with HIV and couldn't take care of them, or their parents had passed away. I was lead into the center of the room and sat in a chair - the children surrounding me. They all wanted to see what was in the big bag that I brought for them! The leagues of little hands passed around the bananas and oohed at the crayons. When I brought out the sweets they all ran away and I was wondering what I did...? They all sat down on the floor on their knees very quietly and waited for me to pass them out, one at a time. Each one, in turn, said thank you. None of them asked for one, if I offered two to the same child they politely declined and showed me their wrapper, and when I almost missed two, they didn't even say a word. These children were so greatful for being given anything. Choruses of thank yous, singing, posing for pictures... it was so beautiful. So very beautiful.
I met another American there, Ian from NYC. He's a photographer and had a camera that was the subject of my ENVY. He told me he'd send me pictures that he took there (they were amazing!) and then asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. It was nice to talk to another New Yorker!
This, too, was a tearful day - but just the kind I needed to find.
The most touching thing was they all wanted to kiss my cheeks, hold my hands, look at the pictures in my camera with me. They're just like kids anywhere you just want you to love them and give them attention. They want to sit on your lap, ask your name so they can repeat it, and they all respond to you telling them how beautiful they are... and they are. It was magical and and experience that will never fade.
Tomorrow morning I take a bus from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap in the morning... and I'll arrive at around 2pm or so. I have decided not to take a cooking class here. I feel it is time to leave this town for the next.
***7:23P, Grandview Guesthouse, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
The poverty here is really devastating and there are children everywhere wanting to sell you something or begging for food. It's hard because we have so much and they see us coming here with dollars in our pockets - and they are pushed into attempting to hawk things on the street. They sell everything from postcards and books to flowers and jewelry. When I was at the killing fields yesterday a group of children were playing there... playing on this ground where you can walk over pieces of human bone and see teeth peeking up through the soil. The came over, spoke perfect English, charmed me with stories and wanted me to take their picture. As soon as we crossed around the bend they started begging for money, telling me they were so hungry, that they were trying to pay for English lessons, that their parents were very poor, too. I resisted and resisted - it was so very hard to say no. In the end I gave four boys a dollar to share (given to the eldest one) and then they turned angry that I had not given them more. Before I knew it, I was surrounded with children that came out of nowhere all saying that they knew I had money - that they saw it. Why didn't I like them? Why didn't I give them some money, too?
I was heartbroken... you see kids all dirty, with little or no clothing running up and down the street. The conditions are horrible for people who live here in a way we can't relate to.
Today I needed some life affirmation and I got a lead over breakfast. I met an Australian girl and her English boyfriend and they said they had seen a sign for an orphanage that you could go visit. I went and saw the posting and decided to stumble my way back to the Central Market (which I, suprisingly, easily found). I had such fun buying things for the children... I bought: 6lbs. of bananas, 5 new towels, 5 toothbrushes, a six-pack of bar soap, 5 packs of crayons, peanuts, and some sweets. (This was the best $15 I've spent - ever. Period.) I can't tell you how overwhelmed I was when I walked into the orphanage. Wait, let me start earlier -
The road to the orphanage was truly terrible... churned up with rocks and trash everywhere. I'm talking HEAPS of litter mixed in with the broken pavement and dirt. There were dogs eating through the dirty puddles of spoiled food, baskets of meat that were mostly indistinguishable (because they were completely covered with flies), and people washing their babies in dirty buckets of water off the side of the street.
The building was falling apart, but full of joy. I could hear the children singing from down the street and when I peered in I saw them all with their handmade instruments putting on a song and dance for two other foreigners who were there. They run to you, throw their skinny little arms around you, say "hello hello hello", and smile so that it melts your heart. Most of them had really dirty clothes on and their teeth were blackened in places... their hair stringy and their feet covered in dirt. It was a beautiful sight.
The woman who runs the orphanage doesn't speak english, but had a translator there to help. These children were given up either by parents who were sick or infected with HIV and couldn't take care of them, or their parents had passed away. I was lead into the center of the room and sat in a chair - the children surrounding me. They all wanted to see what was in the big bag that I brought for them! The leagues of little hands passed around the bananas and oohed at the crayons. When I brought out the sweets they all ran away and I was wondering what I did...? They all sat down on the floor on their knees very quietly and waited for me to pass them out, one at a time. Each one, in turn, said thank you. None of them asked for one, if I offered two to the same child they politely declined and showed me their wrapper, and when I almost missed two, they didn't even say a word. These children were so greatful for being given anything. Choruses of thank yous, singing, posing for pictures... it was so beautiful. So very beautiful.I met another American there, Ian from NYC. He's a photographer and had a camera that was the subject of my ENVY. He told me he'd send me pictures that he took there (they were amazing!) and then asked if I wanted to have dinner with him. It was nice to talk to another New Yorker!
This, too, was a tearful day - but just the kind I needed to find.
The most touching thing was they all wanted to kiss my cheeks, hold my hands, look at the pictures in my camera with me. They're just like kids anywhere you just want you to love them and give them attention. They want to sit on your lap, ask your name so they can repeat it, and they all respond to you telling them how beautiful they are... and they are. It was magical and and experience that will never fade.Tomorrow morning I take a bus from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap in the morning... and I'll arrive at around 2pm or so. I have decided not to take a cooking class here. I feel it is time to leave this town for the next.
***7:23P, Grandview Guesthouse, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
posted by Janice at 7:06 AM
4 Comments:
Janice,
I send love. Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us.
Sarah
Ok now I'm really crying. I guess I felt like that when I visited the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam. It was so moving and horrible at the same time. I think about that experience often. And the orphanage.. what an amazing day. Cheers to you and your new found traveling expertise, I hope your Dad can go to Vietnam with you, that would really be the trip of a life time. Take Care, Perrin
Hi , Perrin!
Thanks for the message. Yes, the sadness here has been profound and now the happiness and joy completely overwhelms me. I hope things at the restaurant are going well and that you really enjoyed your belated honeymoon!
that just made me all teary-eyed at work. you've got to be such a strong person to see that and be there and know that you've got so much more than these kids and not fall to pieces right in front of them...
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